Trying to Run For Myself

14 mile run

Today was my first big run since Vineman and probably the last one I'll do before the Long Course. It didn't go horribly, but it didn't quite go as I expected either.

First of all, I think I'm still dealing with some recovering from Vineman as indicated needing 50 minutes to warm up yesterday on the bike. There is still also a little residual sickness in me - mainly my throat which does make breathing hard harder. Then there is the fact that I have not been sleeping very well. This isn't all that much of a surprise since I'm a terrible sleeper to begin with. But I have been getting to be late and sleeping very restlessly, hence feeling exhausted in the morning. All of this contributes to not quite the desired results.

Anyhow, I did make it to bed early last night and actually slept better than I have been. Hopefully this trend will continue. I woke up at an hour that people should not have to experience regularly in their lifetime, but it becoming somewhat of the norm for me. It was still really dark. I started having slightly irrational thoughts of mountain lions hiding out near the Res, which was where I was heading.

Aside: I probably haven't mentioned my extremely overactive imagination, but I had gone over to the Eagle Trail, just north of the main entrance to the Res, one early morning with the dogs. There were signs posted about mountain lion sightings. If that wasn't enough to do it for me (I chanced it with my thought being that Mobi was bred to track lions so he'd give me plenty of warning), I had Mobi give me warning. He was lagging behind me like he always does. All of a sudden I could hear him running at full speed. I turned and looked and he was charging towards me, looking behind him every few seconds, clearly running from something. He caught up to me and immediately charged past me as if to say "Save your own ass, lady. It's each man for themselves". I finally got him to calm down a little bit, but he would not stop looking behind him. I finally was able to see a head in the grass, and since the grass wasn't high enough, it clearly wasn't a mountain lion. But there was definitely something there. I'm guessing maybe a fox and fox cubs, but we didn't hang around to investigate. End Aside.

So, I feel like I have somewhat of a valid reason for the mountain lion thoughts. I got all ready - clothes on, HR monitor on, everything except for the shoes - and then decided that I should wait until it got a little lighter. Better to be safe and late for work than be eaten by a mountain lion. So I got back into bed and gave myself another 20 minutes or so. I knew this was a bad idea and there was a very good chance that I would not be getting up again, but I did. I wanted to do this run. I finally made it out the door.

I was able to warm up much faster this morning - in a normal amount of time. I did 3 miles in Z2 and then started several 1:5 minutes in Z4 followed by a 2 minute easy jog. These done on the slight rollers heading into the Res and they sucked. I decided that I'm not really a Z4 kind of girl. Of course, I'm probably not supposed to like Z4. It's like broccoli - it's good for you (this was a poor example since I happen to love broccoli). Anyhow, I made it through these and took a small break afterwards (just to get to an even mile number) before starting 4 miles in Z3. This went pretty well - about what I was expecting, though I did have some stomach cramps and am not sure why. I hit the 7 mile mark in 1 hour, which was good to see. I had 2 miles left of Z3 at the turnaround to head back home. These were all done on the rollers of the Long Course, so I should be prepared for them next weekend. Once I finished with the set, it was a Z2 cruise the rest of the way home. My legs were feeling a little tight, so I definitely didn't push it. Plus there's about a 2 mile stretch which is a gradual uphill - I'm so glad the Long Course doesn't do this section. I really tried to stay in Z2 so I found myself getting slower and slower, but still feeling overall okay. I got to the last mile and my knees started to hurt. The same pain that I had the day after Vineman when I had assumed it was from the cold. I tried to stretch them out while running by lifting my knees high and kicking my legs back, but this really hurt, so I switched over to more of a shuffle. It was really weird. Then I got home and stretched and they felt fine. Again, really weird. Then, just to piss me off, my hamstring started to hurt again. I thought I was pretty much through with this injury, but apparently not. It bothered me for most of the day and finally subsided by mid evening. Stupid hamstring.

Anyhow, when I started to slow down, I must have been disappointed in my speed even though I knew I wasn't pushing myself hard. I started thinking of why I was disappointed and realized that I need to start running for myself. It seems like I am constantly comparing myself to someone else and always trying to do better than they are. But this sort of competition rarely does anyone good and generally ends in disappointment. If anything, I should be comparing myself to me. I started to think if I should even be doing this comparison since I'm supposed to be doing all of this because I enjoy it. I do triathlons because I like to and because I can. Therefore, I should be doing this for myself. In the end, since I do strive to get better, I decided that it was okay to compete with myself. But I told myself if a workout doesn't go my way, I should take it for what it is and still enjoy it because I'm still doing it for me.