Afterthoughts...Appreciation

So after wavering for some time between being okay and being not okay with my L2L results, I started thinking about why I wasn't okay with them. I mean, considering the circumstances, it was a really good race. I should rephrase - considering my circumstances, it was a really good race. Because let's face it. Many people go into races with their own circumstances. And I'm sure some do much better than me and some do much worse. But maybe they're okay with the results.

Last weekend, as I was heading into the final stretch of the run before heading back into the park, a man was pretty much just starting his run. He was pushing a stroller, with whom I'm assuming was his son. It was very much in the spirit of Team Hoyt, who are nothing less than inspiring. Talk about selflessness. These men are doing these races entirely for someone else. Sure, they get something out of it was well I'm sure. But they are giving up speed and winning for something so much bigger. It reminded me of Vineman two years ago. I was way at the back of the pack, sick and feeling sorry for myself. A wheelchair athlete passed us going the other direction (heading towards the finish). As he passed us, he yelled something along the lines of "You guys are my heros!". That sort of killed the feeling sorry for myself - I had absolutely no right to do so.

So why do I keep letting this happen? Not to be pessimistic, but I'm not going to be winning my age group any time soon. It's Boulder after all. And at one point I thought I might have a chance when I'm 70, but then I realized that I'd still be racing against the same people. I think I've accepted this, but where I'm struggling is the happy medium between not winning, but still doing better. My biggest competitor is myself. At what point is being better good enough? If I'm one second faster, that should be sufficient because I'm faster. It's important to have goals, but it's also important to have fun.

So, I should be happy with being 15th (the Sprint), or 10th (L2L) in my age group. And now that I've had some time to think about it, I am. I'm a lot closer to the top than I am to the bottom and that definitely counts for something.